Reflections from Wonderland: A Newfound Feminist’s Journey

If you didn’t know, the semester is wrapping up for the year.

When I look back on this semester I can only see a blur. It may not have been the toughest, but it certainly hasn’t been the greatest. Of the few real memories I can conjure up, I can distinctly remember every time I wrote for ShoutOut. Between long periods of writer’s block, cursing myself for again waiting until last minute and hollowly swearing I’ll start earlier the next week, I was actually doing something I was proud to be a part of.

Accurate, to say the least

This past semester I was introduced to another world. Unlike Alice’s journey into Wonderland or Dorothy’s to Oz, I couldn’t snap myself back to reality as I had unknowingly stepped into it. In this new environment I felt the patriarchy that held so many people back and created unrealistic expectations for all participants. I heard the language that was casually thrown around as if it didn’t sting like knives. I saw the pain in people’s eyes as they recounted events when they were affected by misogyny. The kicker though was the shame I felt realizing I played an active role in all of this like a chump.

Thanks to ShoutOut’s amazing writers and readers, I’ve begun changing my lifestyle. Taking small steps to turn my life around and lead it in an open-minded way, I’ve seen the positive it could do for the people around me. It’s been liberating to say the least, however I’ve recently felt like there was still something missing; a weight in my heart I couldn’t shack.

“Real Women Have Curves”: Why Understanding Transphobia is Important

While in class the other day, I overheard two girls talking about fat shaming, and one parroted to the other the old standby for empowering women who feel like they are too big: “real women have curves.” As glad as I was that the conversation was aimed at making one person feel good about her body, I was sad that it had to be at the expense of classifying women as real or not.

 

Can’t all women be “real” women?

The Dialogue

At James Madison University, a gender dialogue course is offered in which 6 females and 6 males are asked to participate to promote dialogue between the two sexes. I was able to attend the final presentations for this class, and I thought the premise of the class, the topics of the presentation, and the banter between the men and women in the course were very interesting. It was evident that this class had become very close. The men and women seemed very comfortable around each other, and it was evident that these presentations were reflective of the eye-opening experience they had together. It made me slightly jealous that they were able to experience this opportunity, and by the end of the 3 hours, I had come up with 2 conclusions.

No Damsel In Distress Here: Anita Sarkeesian and Her Kickstarter Story

I’m a gamer and damn proud.

You won’t catch me toting a DS waiting to update my Animal Crossing town or feed my Nintendogs. I won’t spend hours in front of my tv wasting the brilliance that is the outdoors. And I will never pass up time with friends, to finish that last level of Bioshock Infinite or play one more round of Zombies. However, I will keep up with the industry’s latest and greatest. I do long for that occasional heartwarming nostalgia that comes with replaying an old N64 favorite. And I will always look forward to the occasional follow-up or reimagining of a series like Zelda or Tomb Raider. Gaming has been ingrained within me since as far as I can remember, but it wasn’t until recently that I stumbled upon a daring vlogger who prompted me to reanalyze these pieces of my past with a new feminist perspective.

A month from yesterday will mark the one year anniversary of a bold concept that would later rock the gaming community forever. After being invited to speak to video game development company BUNGiE, vlogger and creator of Feminist Frequency Anita Sarkeesian felt satisfied with her involvement, but realized there was a lot left to be said for the industry as a whole. She decided to launch a Kickstarter campaign to fund a series of videos that would analyze the history of video games from a feminist lens and illuminate the iconic portrayals of women in these games. Little did she know the tidal wave of backlash, harassment, and vandalism that would follow her from arguably the most proverbial of boy’s clubs.

Man, I Feel Like A Woman

*Warning The Video That Is Attached Is Extremely Violent, Viewer Discretion is Advised*

This past week I’ve had two different conversations with two different groups of people about the life of Transgenders, and the difficultly that they face in our society.  Our society, as a whole, still views them as abnormal and more often than not makes no commitments to help make their lives easier.   For those of you who may not know a person who identifies as Transgender is someone who feels that their gender identity (man or woman) does not match their biological sex (male or female).  The degree to which each individual person decides to handle this discrepancy varies some are fine with simply dressing and acting like the gender they feel, some take hormones to get their body to realign, and a small few go through surgery to physically make their body line with their identity.  It is all dependent upon that individual person and how they see themselves and what makes them the most comfortable.  As my inner feminist incessantly reminds me feminism is about equality for ALL people so during both of these conversations I had that inner desire and obligation to remind those that I was with how difficult it can be to live in our society as someone who breaks a norm.

Helpful Tidbits!

 

Book Recommendation: The Guy’s Guide to Feminism

Unless you’ve been living in a cave or the Midwest, you’ve noticed spring (weather) is finally here! Yes, the beautiful time of year when the birds are back, flowers are blooming, and the thaw of winter is behind us. With the return of the sun comes the return of outdoor recreational reading. There’s nothing I love more about my outdoor porch than curling up in my favoring chair, and with a glass of lemonade beside me flipping the pages of a wonderful book between my hands. One such book I had the pleasure of reading was The Guy’s Guide to Feminism. It’s a brief but well written read that’s sure to fit into anyone’s schedule and personal feminist level.

It’s Finally Here! Summer Body Shaming

With yesterday being the first beautiful spring day in Harrisonburg, students flocked outside to relax and soak in the sun. However, with the spike in temperature came a parallel spike in my desire to avoid the well-populated areas where my peers were talking about classes, summer plans, and inevitably, summer fashion. I have been dreading these conversations with growing anxiety, knowing full well that the warm weather would bring with it waves of body shaming commentary.

Every summer for as long as I can remember, I have shaved my legs sparingly, if at all. Due in equal parts to habits I picked up from my swim team, understanding from my partners who also didn’t want to shave daily, and my feminist rejection of mandatory grooming habits, shaving has never been something that I cared much about. Yet every time the weather gets warm, I hear conversations about women who don’t shave but should, women who haven’t shaved and can’t wear certain clothes, and women who can get away with not shaving as long as no one touches them.

Didn’t shave today? WHAT A MONSTER.

Social Constraints: Emily’s Story

Sitting in the beautiful spring sun, a girl from my dorm and I were enjoying the welcomed breeze of fresh mountain air. We were on the subject of our perspective futures, brought up by the fact that our first year in college was drawing to a close and we were both considering switching majors. Emily (changed name) was upset by her parent’s disappointment in her decision to opt out of JMU’s prestigious nursing program for a major in social work. Trying to be a good friend, I listened and affirmed that her decision was good and could still prove a rewarding career. What occurred next would haunt me to this day as an spiritual awakening that would lay groundwork that turned me into a feminist.

She began explaining her thought process behind the decision, I expectantly listened, and when she ended her diatribe I turned towards her and asked if she could repeat her last statement.

Song of Solomon and Our Standards of Beauty

Toni Morrison’s Song of Solomon is a story of heritage, pride, shame and discovery. Set in the 1960s in the era of the Civil Rights movement, Song of Solomon follows two African American families as they make their way toward the American Dream. The first family consists of a woman named Pilot, her daughter Reba, and granddaughter Hagar. They are lower class and there is no father figure, something for which African American families have always been criticized. The second family consists of Macon Dead II, his wife Ruth and children, Lena First Corinthians, and Macon Dead III, or Milkman. They are middle class, and have appeared to achieve the American Dream.

Imposed Cultures: Kids or Career?

She’s even super stylish!

Since I was a teenager I have been wondering, can I have a career and a family? Is there any way to raise kids AND be successful in the workplace? I hardly manage to pack my own lunch and make it to school on time now - where would I ever find the energy to get myself and my kids out the door each morning? And after a long day at the office, what would it take to feed, bath, and interact with them every night? Who would watch them if school was cancelled for a snow day or they caught the chicken pox? There are so many uncertainties, that I have often felt I would eventually have to pick either kids or career – or become superwoman.

Now I’m 25, and I still want both! And after reading Susan Moller Okin’s Justice, Gender, and the Family, I am starting to think the problem has less to do with my inability to be “super” enough and more to do with a society that was organized without the needs of ALL of its citizens in mind.